NPR had a reasonably balanced short on Gay Marriage and it got me thinking about why people are just so excited about the whole ado. Now, I can understand why the extremist Christians are against something that is so contrary to their dogma. I can understand why the Republicans used the controversy to get votes and, IMHO, to trick the honest people of this country into focusing on Gay Marriage as an issue instead of focusing on the the sad state of the economy, joblessness among the poor, failing social programs and abysmal world image of America. What I didn't fathom is how some erstwhile educated people could get sucked into the whole fiasco. So I did what any curious person would do, I asked around to see what other people thought.
Best I could tell, the logic went kind of like this. Marriage was a big thing to them, maybe one of the biggest points in their life. They claim they weren't biggoted about Gays. However, there was something about Gays marrying that made them "feel" like it lessened the "feeling of specialness" about marriage to them. The closest analogies I could find had to do with racial equality. There were people that felt that women shouldn't vote because it would lessen the institution. There were people that felt that blacks shouldn't marry because it would lessen the institution. There are people that still think that immigrants shouldn't attend our schools because it "lessens" the institution. It all boils down to deep rooted bigotry folks. It's the same thing that Moms do all the time. Son, you can marry anyone you want but do you REALLY have to marry a person of color.... Augh, really now. At least have the courage to admit you're a biggot if you are walking the walk and talking the talk.
The question is does Gay marriage really lessen the institution of marriage for others? For that, I think you really have to ask what marriage means to the questioner. If marriage is about everlasting vows of life together and unfailing love then I would say no, nothing anyone else does should lessen love that deep. If marriage means feeling like you are better than everyone else because you're married and they're not (nicer car, nicer house, cuter kids, more money, yaddah yaddah yaddah), get over it. There's always someone out there that you'll compare shabbily to. If marriage is about the religious ritual, that is still there no matter what happens to the civil institution so again, get over it. If marriage is about the civil institution and about putting structure around long term committed relationships then Gay marriage fits right in. The civil institution (including commonlaw marriage) is there to protect both partners of long term relationships. It's about hospital visitation rights when a partner is ill, inheritance of property shared over a lifetime, custody rights to children raised together, tax status and capital gains deductions (yes, married couples get twice the property tax exemption on a shared house) and about other practical issues of long term co-habitation. Those are practical concerns that long term partners, gay or straight share. Ironically, that Gays and Lesbians even want to get married should be affirmation to the institution and practicality of marriage, not desecration. When a child follows in his/her parents footsteps, it is an act of love and acceptance, not defiance. So why then is it any different when Gay and Lesbian couples follow in the footsteps of their parents? Is it wrong for society to encourage long term stable, productive relationships among all of its citizens? I think not.
I guess when you really get down to it, there is nothing logical about the anti-Gay Marriage commotion. It seems to me, anyhow, it boils down to emotionally driven people who do not stop to think that they might be hurting their own children, friends and relatives. It is people who are afraid of anyone different, afraid of change and afraid that sharing something even so intangible as a "concept" might somehow lessen themselves and their lives. Unfortunately, it is that fear that drives elections.
Of course, you can help. For those of you in the closet, come out to the people that care about you so they can see that Gays are good honest people that are a part of their lives, not just fictitious people in San Francisco that they see on the news. For those who can vote, vote or leave the fate of this country to petty fear and bigotry and reap the rewards of your innaction. For those of you who are not active in politics, get active. Put your money and your time where it counts.
No comments:
Post a Comment